I've known for a while now that my wedding ring was getting a bit big for my newly svelte fingers. I haven't fretted it too much because it was loose when I got married 13 years ago and never lost the habit of checking with my thumb ever few minutes to make sure it was still there (That's also due in part to me losing it at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean for 24 hours on my honeymoon but that's a story for a different day). This week however I had an experience that changed my mind. My periodic thumb check came up empty, as in no ring here go look elsewhere. Now, I know that I check my finger at least every 10 minutes so it would seem a pretty easy task to retrace my steps for the last little bit and find it. One problem, I had been cleaning. Within that short time frame I had done laundry, dishes and emptied trash. Three nightmare scenarios for premature ring loss. As thoughts of sifting through bags of old banana peels and meat juices began circling my brain, I did the thing I've learned to do first (goes back to the honeymoon story, remind me to tell you sometime) I prayed. Nothin' fancy, just made sure that I knew that it was in God's hands and not mine, and that if it was His will it would be found. Opened my eyes, decided to check the laundry first and it was sitting on top of a pair of Jeans awaiting my arrival.
So now the question is what do I do with the ring? Before, even though it was loose friction would do it's appointed work and keep it from falling off. Now though, it's so loose that friction never has a chance to enter in to the equation. Gravity can literally pull my ring off my finger without ever having it touch the skin on the way down. Here are some of my ideas, let me know which you like the best or suggest your own.
Get the ring resized - Probably the most obvious and typical. However, being a person who hates being obvious and typical this is fairly unappealing to me. I also have this thing about my ring, that I like it to develop character and perseverance like my marriage. I've never had it "cleaned" it has a crack in that I've never had repaired, and I like it better because of these things. They are the scars and stories that make both an object and the marriage it represents more interesting, unique, and full of story. I think too many times we over polish our marriages when the character we develop in those scratches is much more genuine and compelling. I like my ring to reflect a story and now part of that story is that I've lost so much weight that it doesn't fit anymore. Plus it cost money.
Get a ring tattoo - I've been thinking about this one for a while now. I like the idea of a permanent marking to convey the permanence of my marriage. But the more I've researched it the less I think I want to go this way. First, it again eliminates the story of my existing ring as mentioned previously. I've also heard that the ring tattoo fades and blurs very quickly because of it's location. I've also seen a few and they never look as cool as you think they should in your head. Plus it would hurt a lot, oh, and cost money.
Wear the ring on my middle finder - This is my current temporary solution. The ring right now actually fits pretty nice on the middle digit. What I don't like is that it feels strange and will take some major getting used to. The good news is there isn't a cost involved, but I still have a hard time with the idea of wearing the symbol of my marriage on a symbol of profanity and vulgarity. I worried if someone ever hits on me, thinking I'm available, I would show her my ring and she would think me much more rude than I intended. (By the way, I am perfectly aware of how delusional I am to think this would ever happen, but just for argument's sake.)
Wear the ring as an earring or nose ring - How awesome would that be? The answer, not very.
Wear the ring on a chain - The Biggest Loser method of choice. I can see myself going this route, except for a couple things. It would always be getting tangled in my headphones and I'm just not a chain kind of guy. I know this one has some general cultural acceptance, but it just doesn't feel right for me.
So there you go. I'm looking to you to help me figure this out. Be as creative as you want in coming up with other ideas or let me know which idea you think is best and why. Until the solution is found, my ring will be snugly aplace my central digit. If you don't believe me, I'll be glad to show you.